Thursday, July 10, 2014

The HARDEST Days of My Life....Losing Someone You Love So Much.....

You know as you grow older yourself that everyone else is growing older as well...and of course with disease and cancer so rapid these days time is limited.
My Granny had been having complications with her back for years now, and had been diagnosed almost 10 years ago with a rare form of bone/blood cancer, but had never had many complications with it, besides her back/hips hurting a lot.
     The summer of 2013, Granny started losing weight, and started looking very weak, but she still had that contagious smile on her face...always making our family one of her top priorities! By December of 2013, she was barely trekking along with her walking cane...I kept telling myself something was "wrong" but doctors reports said she was cancer free and fine. Soon after Christmas Granny was in out of hospital/nursing home from January thru June. 1 week of being home during that time. She was either dehydrated, needing blood transfusions or dealing with a recurrent UTI.
All during this time we ( me and James) were trying to sell our home to get moved back to Habersham county to be closer to family and help out more.
I would go up during the week and sit with Granny and visit on the weekends too. I tried my hardest to cherish each and every visit, almost as if I was capturing these moments on an internal camera inside...I left many times in tears...I could tell Granny was getting weaker and weaker. Some visits she would be alert and talk normally, and others she would sleep the whole time or not remember very much...It was as if almost my "Granny" that I remembered growing up was already gone...
We learned in February 2014 that Granny's cancer was back and that she had limited time. March, April, May come...with us visiting her in the nursing home and hospital. Granny trying her hardest to do her rehab so she would be able to walk she had been in the bed so very long she had lost all ability to walk or help herself anymore. This too broke my heart...I could tell Granny was getting so close to giving up, she was getting depressed.
Then June came...on Saturday, the 14th the nurses called to tell us that she needed more blood and was hemorrhaging inside. I knew that news did not sound good at all...and then on Father's day, on the 15th, that morning the nurses called and said that all of the family needed to get down there...I knew this time had come...even though I did not want to admit it...My heart was breaking...Granny Evelyn was one of the closest grandparents I have...I had so many sweet memories with her. Always being there for me for advice or just to listen to me.
    So on June 15th all of Granny's brothers/sisters, nieces,nephews, cousins gathered in her room, kissing her, telling her we love her. Very emotional day...I could tell Granny's eyes were getting weaker, almost as if they were getting a glassy-look to them. On Sunday though, never calling us by name, she would say " Love you too" back to us.
I decided that night, I wanted to stay...this was very important to me to be with Granny, to a woman that I cherished so very much and loved so very much. Myself, Andrea, Brittany, Janet, Larry and Daddy stayed on Sunday night...some on the extra bed in the room, others in chairs, wheelchair...We hardly slept...I was watching Sweet Granny, gasping for her next breath, even on the oxygen, her crying out in pain to Jesus...these moments though so heart-wrenching...with my heart slowly breaking, were moments I wanted to spend...moments I will never forget...We thought several times during the night that she was about to go and leave this old world to join Jesus in heaven, her breathing would get real shallow...We would all gather around her bed, crying and telling her it was "okay, we love her and would take care of Papa"....Granny still held on...She didn't open her eyes anymore...My insides felts as if butterflies were in my stomach and chest...
Monday came and we stayed all day with family coming in and I would leave to go get a shower or something to eat...I would try my best to hurry I wanted to be there when Sweet Granny grabbed hold of Jesus' hand.
     Granny would scream out in pain, asking "Jesus to take her or help her"....then she would cry....and moan...Emotionally I didn't think I could endure anymore...I couldn't take seeing her in so much pain and begin to ask Jesus...."why are you not taking her?....why are you making her endure so much pain ? "....
My Dad had held all of his emotions inside this whole time until Sunday, Monday and Tuesday....seeing my Daddy cry and pray and kiss Granny telling her it would be okay....broke my heart even more....and Papa Howard, constantly saying "She's getting better...isn't she ?"....over and over with Janet and Daddy telling him "No, she is dying...she is not getting better..." this too was very hard for me to see, the sadness over his face. His love of 58 years...was leaving him.
     Tuesday morning very early, we started noticing something brown coming out of the edge of her mouth...deep inside I knew what it was blood...I knew time was getting even closer....on strong morphine and medications, Granny was in a deep, deep sleep...but would still holler out to Jesus.! Also saying she saw her "Mama....Grandma....cousins..." We knew she seeing glimpses of was a surreal feeling, being here on earth with Granny halfway Sweet Beulah land... the brown substance kept coming out of her mouth and then as we had just drifted off to sleep again, a large gargle and she threw up blood everywhere...I screamed out! We knew this was the hemorrhaging inside. The nurse said her vitals were still good, but it would be soon, possibly between 24-48 hours...I'm crying inside and outside....
All of her brothers/sisters started pouring in again....and then around 2:00 pm, they said that her vitals had drastically went down to 44/28, that we needed to get in there....I stood there holding Sweet Granny's hand, crying and praying....Granny still holding on....we knew she didn't want to "separate" from us, as the day before, she had hollered out " don't separate"....She wanted to go see Jesus, but hated to leave us here too...
Finally Daddy told Papa to get her hand and tell her " I Love you....Go on, I'm okay".....My heart ached so much...very emotional moment....and then at 2:58 pm....Granny took her last breath! She was gone! She was in the beautiful more pain nor suffering....
I couldn't believe she was really very sad, but so relieved she was not suffering any more...I can not stand seeing her suffer anymore...
And the funeral came with me doing the eulogy. I had felt the week before that I needed to start writing on it and completed it the morning that Granny passed away. I was nervous but was something I had always wanted to do...I wanted to recount all of the many, many memories me and others had with her.

These days were extremely hard to endure but with the promise of Jesus as your Savior, we know we will be reunited again one day. I still catch myself thinking back on precious memories and crying thinking about how special those moments were...

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Catching up...the Last Several Months....

I've been so busy lately....well since December lets try to re-cap what's been happening with the Braswell's.... We finally decided after tossing the idea back/forth about selling our home in Flowery Branch! We had been wanting to for a year or so, but with the economy, James' job, childcare, Chloe's school....We just felt we "couldn't", but as we All Know with GOD...ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!! ~
We both felt a nudge to go ahead with our plans. We cleaned everything up in the house, straightened it up and the Friday the 14th of February, Valentine's Day...the week of Snow we Had...We put our "FOR SALE BY OWNER" sign up in the yard!
I had been determined since the get-go that I was going to sell the house on my own, no real estate agents, no companies...I had this...I read up on strategies/marketing it etc. We made multiple signs to advertise, I printed flyers, we put it online etc. We were blew out of the water with how much response we received...We had families drive 3 hours away to see it!
On average I was showing it every other night for some nights we would show it up to 3 families per night. I was truly exhausted, trying to work full time, be a mom and a part time "real estate" agent, but I knew how much $$ it would save us in the long run!
Several weeks went by, my phone was still blowing up with interested clients. Had a few low-ball offers, but then one particular week, we showed the house to about 6 families...and on that Thursday, we had 5 of those 6 call wanting to put an offer on the house! I was in AWE for right after the I decided as I talked with all of them, I sat a date/time for them to have their BEST offer on the table and we would consider all of them and let them know our outcome!
My head was spinning by now...a mixture of emotions...Happy that so many people were interested, Worried that I would do all of the necessary paperwork to complete the sale of our home, Scared because we had no idea where we would stay/live when we sold our house and Sad because this was our 1st home!!
The next afternoon all families put their best offers out there...and we decided on the best offer and you would not believe where the family was from....Habersham. Wanting to move to Flowery Branch to be closer to family, with us wanting to move back to Habersham to be closer to my family!
I couldn't have asked for a better family to sell our home too...they were very nice, helpful and they felt God truly put our families together at the right timing to fulfill our longing to get back to our family roots!
We signed our contract on that Friday night, March 28th and the next several weeks was a whirlwind...packing, boxing up, trashing stuff....April 29th we SOLD our Home!!!!

We found a rental in Habersham from a family friend that was nice, reasonably priced! Forgot to add in the mix during this time we were searching online and in person homes for sale, land for sale etc. Trying to figure out what we wanted to do...and ironic as it may seem one weekend we had a road name misunderstood and went down the wrong road and saw a "For Sale" sign for some land...we both figured it would be too expensive but thought we might just make an offer.
This land is right in the area we wanted, wooded, quiet...We put an offer out there and BOOOM....the land became ours!!!

The last several months has just been AWESOME...God's timing, comfort, peace...Nothing could have worked out any better!!! We sold our house on a Tuesday and I purchased the land for sale on Thursday!!

Now we're in the process of getting all of our builders ready to start building our dream home!!! ~

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

~Christmas, Come.....& Now Gone....

We had a Great Christmas together as a family, no one sick, ( which anyone that knows me I'm OCD about sickness, like the flu/virus stuff, makes myself sick worrying about me or someone in the family getting it), but I had a sinus/head cold which kinda stunk, but not a biggie by any means..

The Kids had a BLAST opening their gifts from Santa, and we thoroughly enjoyed our Christmas gatherings with all of our family members, here, there and everywhere! See last Christmas my uncle was in the ER and so our Christmas at my grandparents wasn't quite the same. We LOVED Celebrating the Birthday of Jesus...Chloe & I were constantly singing Christmas Carols every day, every where we went...

Here are a few pics from Our Family Christmas 2013.....

Friday, December 20, 2013

BIG Birthday Boy, Hard to Believe

This year has flew by....2 kids, working outside of the home, church, household chores etc.....I literally don't sit down at night at ALL...I think my couch is collecting dust in my spot....LITERALLY! Ha!Ha!

I used to be so organized and had everything accomplished and now, I feel like the clock actually skips a few hours each day,my head spins from running from one direction to in, day out.

Enough on all of that...My Baby Boy, Colton Grant is #1!!!! I can't believe it has been 1 whole year already...He is learning & discovering so much, every single day...Here are some photos from his John Deere birthday party...!

Friday, June 28, 2013

Vacation 2013.....

Gosh, its been so Busy the last month....from Chloe staying most of the week at her Papa & Nana's, to Colton growing and learning so much, plus working a fulltime job! We're on the GOOOOO!!!!

We ended up going to Pigeon Forge for a few days since James started his new job back in Fall didn't have much time saved we went to Dollywood, for 2 days of riding rides and getting wet on water rides!
We had fun! My parents and sister went with us, so we had a few "babysitters" to help out too.....

Friday, May 24, 2013


I can not believe My BABY is already out of Kindergarten...!!! Time has been flying for sure....seems just like yesterday she was getting ready to start Pre-k...She has grown so much this past year, she is still stubborn like her Daddy, but I am so proud of the Little lady she has become!

Chloe Elise is the Best Big Sister Ever!! LOVE this girl to pieces!!!!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Ready for Spring.....!

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind and they have been pretty stressful as well. Colton has been in/out of doctors office, he has been having trouble with his eyes, we still haven't figured out the exact cause, which has stressed me out as well. I try my best to stay positive and with my current health issues as well.

I need, the sun...the sunshine...time outdoors! Strange how the weather makes your feelings feel or your moods....but very true!
I can't believe that Chloe is about to get out of Kindergarten, my baby girl....sniff, sniff and my baby boy is almost 5 months old....Time is flying for sure!

Until next time....Soaking up these sun rays....! :)